Sleep, Dreaming, Depression

[StereoLogic]

I have been severely depressed lately. Thoughts of suicide have come very close to making more sense then the rest of existence at points, and while I'm in a mood right now that seems a lot healthier then that, I cannot predict what the next hour or the one after that holds. It comes and goes in waves. I go through these hours of feeling like everything is pointless and worthless. I lose interest in things that have dear to me for my entire life. I'm a musician, and in these moments, I could care less if I ever hear music again. But they are just waves.

I have become afraid of sleep because when I actually get to a point where I let myself sleep, I have dreams instantly, long winding ones. Some times they are nightmares, like dreams inside of dreams inside of dreams of me waking up to terrible things like being strangled by my girlfriend while being held down by the scrotum. Other times, they are dreams of just skateboarding around my childhood neighborhood and running into people. Sometimes they are like long epic movies that have very little to do with me. They are exhausting, especially when I awake from them and I realize it's only been 30-45 minutes since I fell asleep. If I manage to let myself sleep for 3 or 4 hours, it's like watching movies for a week. It's upsetting, tiring, and makes me feel a lot worse.

I know I induced how bad things are by taking MDMA over the course of two days after not taking any drugs for a month. I don't do other drugs, although I have tried a few once. Well, I do smoke marijuana, but since the weekend I'm afraid as hell to touch anything. Scared straight I suppose. Yes I do realize that this partly a come down from the drugs, but the depression has been getting worse up to this point and to blame it all on the drugs would be even more immature then doing them in the first place.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help stop the dreaming, or calm it? It makes my first few hours of the day the least bearable. Is this worth going to a doctor about? I have created a phobia of drugs at this point and I don't know if I want to take more to solve this. Maybe I just should? The stress and weight of all these things makes it so hard just to sleep in the first place.

 

[StereoLogic]

Taking away the pain is the only thing that makes sense. Goodnight and goodbye.

 

[Mjäll]

You're not going to kill yourself are you?

 

[assembled]

Try drinking some chamomile tea before bedtime. Really strong chamomile. It can calm you down so much that you'll easily sleep through the dreams.

Valerian root has similar properties, although somewhat stronger.

Other than that take a calming bubble bath with lavender essential oil, put some lavender oil on your pillow. Alter your bedtime routine to remove anything you associate with negative thoughts.

It might even be something you are eating before bed that is causing your body to be "upset".

I would love to have vivid dreams again but after a few years smoking weed they have not returned to me, even after abstinence

 

[bighooter]

just be grateful you can sleep

i have got insomnia since being on prozac its just like my mind is constantly awake if i could exchange not sleeping with having nightmares every night HELL YEH

 

[EisForMe22]

Taking away the pain is the only thing that makes sense. Goodnight and goodbye.

I read a short article in Time about psychologists using methods like this to deal with suicidal patients, especially those whom are seeking attention. It also mentioned letting people who fail attempts to go to the hosipal alone instead of being fostered by loved ones.

Im not sure if thats what you were going for here... but very interesting reply none the less.